A Day Late

I had just graduated on May 18, 2007 I was so excited.  I had finally received my Associates degree, I took pictures and sent them to my husband, he was so proud of me to finally accomplish something I set out to do.  He opened the email and told me he liked the pictures.  We talked about my trip in two days to head from Missouri to Alaska, (I stayed with my mother and went to a community college so I didn’t have to stay in Alaska during the winter).  I planned on leaving on Sunday May 20th.  I saw my husband for the last time before my trip on my web cam on Sunday morning.  I then took his best friend’s wife back to the airport, she came up to see the graduation from Georgia.  I then started my trip to Alaska, it was to be about a eight-nine day trip.  I drove to Sioux City and stopped to camp for the night, my husband left me a few messages through my phone on yahoo messenger telling me to have a safe trip and that he hopes I’m enjoying myself.  In the early morning he left me a message saying he was going on a mission, that he loved me and he would message me when he got back and for me to be careful on my drive.  I didn’t hear from him like usual the rest of that day.  Then I made it to Harvey, ND where I stopped to camp.  My mother called me and told me she wanted to make the rest of the trip with me, that she took time off work and asked me where the closest airport was, she talked with me about my day and where I was.  I then packed everything up the next morning, stopped at starbucks and was sad to see that my hubby was not online, I then picked my mother up from the airport.  We went and ate breakfast and afterwards she told me this:

I was cleaning the house and Marcel (her dog) was barking and he wouldn’t be quiet, so she went to see what he was barking about.  Outside the window was a vehicle with two uniformed men getting out of it.  She said she froze and said oh no! oh no! and started screaming, they were walking to her front door.  She answered and knew exactly what it was for, I had told her in detail what would happen if Shannon (my husband) was ever hurt, or killed.  Hurt would be a phone call, killed would be these two men approaching her doorstep.  She let them in, they asked if I was home.  She informed them that I was on my way to Alaska, so she called me and she was very strong and did not incline that there was a problem of any kind.  This was that phone call I received from her about making the rest of my trip with her.  They would not tell her what happened.

This is what I was left with, this is how I found out my husband died, was through my mother.  About five minutes later my phone rings and its his brother asking me why I didn’t let them know.  I was like know what??? I’m just finding out something here on my end, he then told me someone showed up at his mother’s door and told her the news that he was KIA. 

I had no idea what to do, I was on a road to nothing in a state I didn’t even know where anything was, much less what to do.  No house, I was staying with my mother, no husband, not really any friends. There was a man in ACU’s in a table behind us at the diner that was in the Air Force, I started crying and told him what was going on with me.  He said there was an Air Force base seven miles away and that he would take me there and to the Family Advocate.  When I got there, they contacted the Army for me, the Army didn’t contact me, I had to contact them and then wait two hours for the Army to send two soldiers to give me “the official message”.  The people in Minot, ND at that AF base were amazing, not only did they store my jeep and put my dog in a kennel, they put me up in officer’s quarters for the night.  The next day the soldiers angels foundation paid for two tickets to Atlanta for myself and my mother.  After that, everything started heading towards the funeral.  I did not even talk to my casualty officer until May 24th.  I had no idea what was going on and was confused.

I know my situation was different, I was the first person to be in-route that could not be found for over a day after the accident happened.  Everything that could go wrong went wrong, such as getting enough funds for the funeral, that first gratuity payment I did not receive until almost a week after finding out, and you’re supposed to receive within 48 hours.  It was horrible, not to mention my casualty officer was not there for me, he was busy with other things instead of taking the time out for MY needs.

For anyone out there that goes through anything like this I feel for you, I know what you are going through and all you can tell yourself is, it might get better, I was lucky to have my mother there for support, I do not know what I would have done without her.