Our Miracle

I met Ricky my sophomore year of high school. I was the football manager/water girl for our football team in the fall. I also was the manager for our wrestling team during the spring. He loved both sports very much. At the time, we were both dating other people. But we did hang out with the same group of people. He was a year older. When Ricky graduated high school, he decided to join the Army in November 2003. He ended up marrying his “high school sweetheart” and getting stationed in Fort Hood, Texas. We pretty much lost touch after that.

In April of 2006, he contacted me on MySpace. He was deployed in Iraq and had split from his wife because she had cheated on him shortly after he deployed. I, at the time, was still in my previous relationship, although very unhappy with it. Once again, we lost touch. Finally, after having enough, I split with my boyfriend in October and shortly started talking to Ricky again. We started by just email, then it progressed to instant messenger and the phone.

He was due back from his deployment in November 2006, and was coming home to San Diego on his block leave. We made plans to get together while he was in town. The more and more we talked, the more we realized that there might be something more to this friendship than we expected. We could talk on the phone for HOURS! About anything and everything. He told me he felt he could open up to me and he liked that I didn’t ask him about Iraq and what he did over there. I reminded him that there was a normal life back here in the States.

From the day he arrived to San Diego, to the day he left back to Fort Hood, we had spent almost every minute together. We were pretty much inseparable. The times we spent together while on his leave are some of the best times I’ve had in my life. Before he left back to Fort Hood 30 days later, I knew I wanted to be with him forever. We continued our relationship for several months later. Visited in February and April. The more I visit and saw how tough it was to leave made me realize that I needed things to change. He kept asking me to move out there. He assured me he could take care of me while I was there. He was scheduled to redeploy to Iraq in December of 2007. That’s when I made the decision to drop everything, pack up my car and move to Texas. (June 2007) The fun part was, I did not tell him! I took a friend with me…drove the 18 hours and surprised him at a local club he was out at. He was floored that I pulled it off and so happy I was there to stay! My plan was to live with him until he deployed, then go back to San Diego until he returned from his deployment. We got an apartment and just enjoyed every minute we had together. Some of our best memories were sitting at home cuddled up on the couch, broke, watching movies.

We talked about marriage, but I wanted to be able to plan a wedding. We decided that maybe it was best to wait until he returned so I had more time to plan. But because I had found the perfect ring for me…and it happened to be on clearance…he ended up proposing to me in September. Unfortunately, his divorce still has not been finalized.  In October, the deployment had gotten pushed back until March 2008. My plan had been to return to San Diego and return to classes in the Spring which start in January. Well…I was NOT returning back to San Diego if Ricky had three more months before deploying. So I decided to stay in Texas permanently. I enrolled in classes at the local community college. Because he was deploying and I was living out there while he supported me, we decided to marry at the local courthouse after his divorce finalized in January. We married January 29th, 2008.

Our few months spent as husband and wife were no different from the rest of our relationship. Our whole 15 months spent together as a couple were no less than perfect. But he wanted to make sure I was taken care of financially, medically, etc. while he was gone. I helped him pack for his deployment. We had conversations about what would happen while he was gone, and never in my wildest dreams did I think he wouldn’t be coming back. He left on March 8th, 2008…we said our goodbyes, kissed and then I watched him walk away and load that dreaded white bus. I cried all the way home. I did not cry while I was with him, because I wanted to be strong and not have him worry about me and just worry about the mission ahead.

The first two weeks he was gone were spent getting used to him being gone. Continuing to go to my classes, hang out with the wives of my husbands fellow soldiers. Strangely, two people in one day mentioned the possibility of me being pregnant. I hadn’t missed a period, but to satisfy my curiosity…I took a pregnancy test. Sure enough…It was positive! I was shocked. I didn’t even know what to think. We hadn’t planned on kids yet. He called the next day and when I told him, he was equally shocked, but very happy. He had wanted kids sooner than I did because I was still focused on finishing school. But it was what it was…and we were going to be parents!

Two weeks later, I was sitting in my living room and I heard a knock at the door. My dog was barking like crazy, so I picked him up and opened the door without even looking out the window. There stood two soldiers in their Class A’s. I was a new army wife and only had recently been taught what this means. Immediately I felt the blood just leave my face. All I heard was “The Secretary of Defense regrets to inform you….” And I dropped to my knees and could only scream “I’m Pregnant!” It felt like a dream…it didn’t seem real, but at the same time I’m thinking how will I explain this to my child when he gets older. I came from a broken family and was determined to not let that happen to mine. But here I was…starting out as a single mother…NOT by choice. I don’t remember how I got through the next few days, but I arrived in San Diego 4 days later to start planning his funeral.

It’s been 9 months since my husbands passing and I can still remember it like it was yesterday. But yet…here I have this 2 month old miracle. He wasn’t planned, at least by us. But I believe he’s here now for a reason. He has kept me strong through all of this. Kept me from falling apart when I didn’t think I could continue on. I didn’t want to risk miscarrying and losing the only part of my husband I had left. Words cannot express how deeply missed my husband is. But I look forward to watching our son grow up to be like my husband, my hero.