Moving Forward

Taryn Davis

So You Met Someone and Now You Feel Gulity, Too

by American Widow Project
Nov 20, 2009 Bookmark and Share

So You Met Someone And Now You Feel Guilty, Too - 1 Tip To Guide You
By: Linda Della Donna

Burying a husband, a lover, a soul mate, sucks. Being a widow is a burden. That sucks, also. When you, dear widow, finally do muster the courage to step one bunny-slippered foot out your door and move forward with the best of your life, you feel guilty, you feel embarrassed, you feel ashamed, and, oh horrors! You worry, what will people think? What will people say? And, then you ask yourself the super silly question, what do I do about this man in my life, the one who says, I want to see you again.
Here’s my 1 important tip to guide you:

1. Life is for the living. Remember that.

It is easy to fall into the guilt trap. It is easy to tell yourself that you are a married woman and still someone’s wife. It is easy to say, I feel like a cheat if I go out on a date.

Stop it. Don’t do that.

Tell invisible monkey perched on your shoulder, the one that is shouting nonsense in your ear, to be quiet and to go away. It is up to you, dear widow, to muzzle your monkey voice before the words enter your brain. Do not give Ms. Monkey permission to whisper words of doom and gloom. Ever. Simply dismiss her, and plant a kiss on an ear. No, silly. Not Ms. Monkey’s ear, the ear on the new alive man sitting across the table from you. Yes, that man. Imagine. Lightning strikes twice! Perhaps. Perhaps not. What I am trying to tell you, dear widow, is to keep an open mind.

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